Before I read the Percy Jackson
by Olympian876
Summary: Before I read Percy Jackson. I had a very vague idea of what they were about. So I will share with you how I thought they would have gone. Believe me, it is not even close to what it is now.
1. The Lightning Thief

**Before I read the book, I just looked at it and thought of how it could have gone. Unfortunately, Rick Riordan didn't have my imagination. So, this is how I would have made The Lightning Thief go (NOTE: This is before I read it)**

Percy, a twelve year old boy was just accused of stealing the Master Bolt. He was now being interrogated by Zeus himself... Zeus blew saliva into Percy's face, "Πού είναι ο Μπολτ Master (Where is the Master Bolt)?"

"Excuse me? I can't understand any..." Percy started.

"Πού είναι ο Μπολτ Master (Where is the Master Bolt)?" Zeus yelled, cutting him off.

"I really can't understand what you are saying, Zeus." Percy tried to explain.

"Να μην παίζουν παιχνίδια μαζί μου, τον Περσέα! (Don't play games with me, Perseus!)"

"Excuse me? Speak English, please!" Percy screamed.

"Σιωπή! (Silence!)" Zeus yelled.

With that, Percy was electrocuted by Zeus' awesome lightning bolts. Ending. Percy's face was charred and hair sticking up... Then, Zeus yelled once more, "Πού είναι ο Γιώργος Ουάσιγκτον? (Where is George Washington?)"

"Can you speak English? Because, I can't understand ANYTHING you are saying!"

"Σκάσε και πες μου όταν ο Δάσκαλος Bolt είναι! (Shut up and tell me where the Master Bolt is)" Zeus screamed as he electrocuted Percy.

"Speak English! Do you know what that means? It has nothing to do with lightning bolts being thrown at me!"

"Σκάσε! (Shut up!)" Zeus roared.

"Blarghy Bloo! Did you understand what I said? That's how I feel! Am I crazy or something?" Percy exclaimed.

"Κύβος βλάκας! (Die moron)" Zeus yelled.

"Hey Zeus! I found it!" a satyr yelled, "It was under my pillow the entire time!"

"Τι (What?)" Zeus asked.

"You mean I was electrocuted, tied up, traveled from New York to Los Angeles and back again, battled monsters, lost my mom, tortured, and it was under that saytr's pillow?" Percy yelled.

"Yes, I guess it was." Zeus stated.

"And you can speak English?" Percy asked.

"For over one hundred years."

"Die moron!"

"What?"

Percy grabbed Zeus' lightning bolt and threw it at the saytr and Zeus. Killing them both...

**So now you know how I thought The Lightning Thief went. It would have been awesome if they sent this in to Hollywood or Rick Riordan. Because this would have been the most hilarious ending ever. **


	2. Sea of Monsters

**You see, when I judge books by their covers. It doesn't end well. When I saw the Percy Jackson books on display. All I knew was it was about Greek myth. And to put that in the 21st century just made my mind go crazy. So when I saw The Sea of Monsters, sparks of imagination just zoomed out of my head. So, here it is. My rendition of the Sea of Monsters...**

Like all books in a series, the protagonist lives. So, Percy ends up sailing the Sea of Monsters. And the Sea of Monsters was terrifying... It had monsters ranging from the Cyclopes to Justin Bieber. You name the monster, it has it... So, Percy and his brother, Tyson were sailing until this horrific sight came upon them. A female figure slowly came out of the water. Her tight red jeans and black sleeveless shirt were not wet at all. Then, two black guys emerged from the water. One had dreadlocks, the other had a Mohawk. And worst of all, a tall, lanky man with a Snooki hairdo went beside them. Tyson stared at them for a little while. Percy drew his sword and had it ready to strike. The one with the dreadlocks spoke to the young kids, "Do you know who we are?"

"Oh my gods!" Tyson screamed happily, "you're my daddy!"

"No, we are The Black Eyed Peas!"

"Um, what?"

"Ugh, let me introduce myself. I am one of the black guys. The girl over there is Fergie," He motioned his head to the attractive young girl, "Then, the one with the Mohawk is Apl. And the male Snooki is Taboo. And together, we are The Black Eyed Peas!"

"Agh! It's The Black Eyed Peas! Tyson, get them!" Percy screamed

"I love the Black Eyed Peas!"

"Are you serious?"

"Come on! Let's sing!"

"You heard the homeless kid, let's go!" Taboo yelled.

_Everybody! Everybody!_

_Let's sing with the homeless, ha!_

_Let's sing with the homeless, in here!_

_Let's sing with the homeless, ha!_

"Enough!" A voice yelled.

All of them turned to see a new monster emerge from the sea. It's fur was blue, the ping-pong ball eyes stared at Taboo oddly, "Cookie!"

"Wait, no! Please! Don't!" Taboo screamed.

In a few seconds, Taboo was being chased by the Cookie Monster... THE END!

**Some of you might just wonder what crazy person thinks this about books. The answer is... ME! I think random figments of imagination... So, ya, I never meant to insult The Black Eyed Peas (BIG FAN, Can't wait for The Beginning, eeee!) or the Cookie Monster. Okay, peace out, home dog! **

**P.S. Review if you like, heard, seen, or smelled The Black Eyed Peas' music.**


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